Moronic Musings

and other junk as it occurs to me.

Thursday, April 25, 2013

Messin' With The Young'uns

Here are some ways to have a little fun with people under the age of 30:

If the satellite or cable goes out, tell them to run outside and turn the antenna.

Refer to every cell phone as a "pay phone murderer."

Tell them the next big thing in movie entertainment will be Technicolor.

Call them "Grasshopper" and watch amusedly as they try to puzzle out what you mean.

Try to convey the sense of horror you used to feel at the thought of having an empty Coke bottle thrown at you from a moving vehicle.

Teach them how Coke bottles could be turned into a drink and a snack at the corner store.

Try to convince them that most people used to actually walk to the corner store.

Explain the purpose of front porches on houses. This works best if you do it over iced tea on the front porch.

Every once in a while, ask them if their cell phones are party lines.

Rant about how complicated it was to select songs of the perfect length to fit on your mix tapes. Then share how exasperating it was to wait for the DJ to shut up so you could get a clean recording of your favorite song.

Hand them a gallon jug and say "that's about what my first cell phone was like."

Describe how The Bomb we worried about and the bombs they worry about are two entirely different things. Then have a conversation about how courage works no matter what generation you come from.

Illuminate them about the joys of jumping up and down on a car to get its bumper unlocked from another car.

Tell them that every single American used to be required by law to get shot in the arm in order to prove their loyalty and how tough they were. Then have all your friends show them your vaccine scars.

Feel free to comment with more ideas for messin' with the young'uns!

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