Messin' With The Young'uns

Here are some ways to have a little fun with people under the age of 30:

If the satellite or cable goes out, tell them to run outside and turn the antenna.

Refer to every cell phone as a "pay phone murderer."

Tell them the next big thing in movie entertainment will be Technicolor.

Call them "Grasshopper" and watch amusedly as they try to puzzle out what you mean.

Try to convey the sense of horror you used to feel at the thought of having an empty Coke bottle thrown at you from a moving vehicle.

Teach them how Coke bottles could be turned into a drink and a snack at the corner store.

Try to convince them that most people used to actually walk to the corner store.

Explain the purpose of front porches on houses. This works best if you do it over iced tea on the front porch.

Every once in a while, ask them if their cell phones are party lines.

Rant about how complicated it was to select songs of the perfect length to fit on your mix tapes. Then share how exasperating it was to wait for the DJ to shut up so you could get a clean recording of your favorite song.

Hand them a gallon jug and say "that's about what my first cell phone was like."

Describe how The Bomb we worried about and the bombs they worry about are two entirely different things. Then have a conversation about how courage works no matter what generation you come from.

Illuminate them about the joys of jumping up and down on a car to get its bumper unlocked from another car.

Tell them that every single American used to be required by law to get shot in the arm in order to prove their loyalty and how tough they were. Then have all your friends show them your vaccine scars.

Feel free to comment with more ideas for messin' with the young'uns!

Push Through

Have you ever been walking along a sidewalk and noticed how nearly every crack has a flower or a shoot of grass coming through? Nature's amazing like that. It has an unrelenting drive to push through to the light no matter what is laid on top of it.

People are the same way (we're part of nature, after all). No matter what life throws at us, we make it to the surface. Irrepressible, we rise to the occasion.

That's what you're going to do today. You will recognize what's covering you up, you'll notice cracks in that pavement or chinks in that wall, and you'll find a way. You should be able to recognize these passages- no matter how tiny- because a little light always shines through.

Push through!

More Than Meets The Eye

You are the ultimate Transformer.

These days, everyone knows all about the giant alien robots that can change themselves into vehicles. What some people might not be aware of is that they have an advantage over even those marvelous morphing machines.

The advantage is this: you aren't limited to just one or two forms. While an Autobot or a Decepticon typically only changes from vehicle to robot and back again, you can become anything you want. You are limited only by your imagination. You have the tools at your disposal to perform any number of amazing feats, create an unlimited array of marvels.

Want a city at the bottom of the ocean? Build it. Feel the desire to colonize Mars? Go for it. These seem like ridiculous notions, but are they really? The thing that we forget sometimes is that we don't just have the capacity to change ourselves; we can also transform our surroundings. We can literally change the world. Just a few years ago, smart phones were unheard of. Mass produced electric vehicles were science fiction. The Internet was inconceivable.

But you know what you are capable of. You have boundless possibilities.

Now go make Optimus Prime jealous.

Liftoff

Adversity is the launch pad from which greatness lifts off.

For Churchill, it was Germany shelling London neighborhoods daily. For Einstein, it was teachers who thought him stupid (and later a regime that wished to use his gifts for evil). For Gandhi it was an oppressive empire. For Mother Teresa it was poverty and starvation.

While those circumstances make our daily struggles seem insignificant, we nevertheless deal with adversity at one level or another every day. It is these small challenges which teach us to overcome greater ones. If we never faced an obstacle in life, we would be helpless when hard times truly hit.

You have within you today the capacity to overcome great adversity. Perhaps you have been tested, perhaps not. But today you are certain that you possess the tools to face whatever comes your way. You possess intelligence, resolve, and grit. You can and will overcome whatever stands between you and greatess.

We have achieved lift off!

Beaming

Today, you are a laser. You are an intensely focused beam burning through whatever stands in your way.

The grit of adversity and experience has polished your lens so finely that you are able to produce light that is clearer and brighter than any other. Your faith and your knowledge are your sources of power (and you can be assured that Energizer and Duracell have never made anything with this kind of juice).

You possess an unparalleled guidance system: Your aim and focus are your intent and force of will. You see an incoming missile, alien invader, or unhealthy tissue growth, you zap it. That simple.

So today you are going to stay powered up and dialed in. Bad news, rain, and busy work cannot slow you down.

Go light it up!

Some Thoughts On Work

1. No one is perfect.
2. No one knows everything.
3. People who feel they have to be perfect and know everything are just wasting energy.
4. People who act like they're perfect and know everything are universally disliked.
5. It IS possible to be both humble and self-confident. The two attributes are not mutually exclusive. SO act like you know what you're doing, but don't be an ass about it.
6. When you're wrong, say so. A simple mea culpa will go a long way in maintaining (or rebuilding) others' respect for you.
7. Don't take yourself too seriously. If you can't laugh at yourself, you can bet that there are plenty of other folks who can.
8. See the best in people.
9. No matter how long you've been doing what you're doing, realize that you can learn from even the newest, greenest person in your field.
10. If you're good at your job, help others be good. You owe it to those who came before you. Pass good knowledge on.
11. Have fun at work. If you can't, find something else to do. Life is too short to spend a full third of it being miserable.
12. You were hired for a reason. You have at least minimal competence at your job, so stop second-guessing yourself.

Get out there and be awesome!

Possibilities

Today is full of the unknown. There are choices you must make that have consequences you can't guess. There are impending circumstances in your life over which you have absolutely no control. There are activities you have yet to participate in, and there are people you've never met. Every day is jam-packed with unknown things, and that can be scary.

But not for you. You look at the unknown with anticipation because you know that as badly as things can turn out, they can also go amazingly well. You understand that uncertainty is a positive thing.

Make no mistake: there's nothing wrong with a little self-check to make sure you're taking the right steps. Even so, you don't sit on the fence forever. You move. You've read all the current fashion magazines and are aware that paralysis and self doubt are not en vogue this season.

Remember that pivotal scene in Finding Nemo when Dory is trying to convince Marlin to let go of the whale's tongue? Marlin fearfully shouts something like, "How do you KNOW everything will be okay?!" to which Dory very matter-of-factly replies "I don't," and lets go.

Here's a new take on an old adage: If you always do what you've always done, you'll never get what you've never had.

Today you're not going to let fear of the unknown either prevent or control your actions. You're going to examine your options, choose, and act. Today, you're going to be Dory. Except with a better memory.

Fortress

Today, you are an impenetrable fortress. 

You know how Mondays are: You awaken slowly and gently, pad lightly into the kitchen and brew some coffee so you can enjoy it out on the lanai. You watch the sun rise and cast its soft, golden light across the serene Hawaiian mountain lake which serves as your back yard. As you sip your perfectly brewed Kona coffee, you ponder what to do with the remaining $198,000,000 of your lottery winnings. Then your alarm shrieks in your ear and wakes you up for real. 

Damn, it's Monday.

Rather than a tranquil scene outside your window, you wonder if there might be a horde of angry orcs, trolls and Uruk-Hai waiting to skewer you on their nasty iron implements.

But that's okay, because you're ready for it. Your batteries are charged, your mind is calm, and you know how to handle the impending onslaught. You're not letting anything or anyone tax you beyond your limits. Besides, you're a mighty keep. Like Helm's Deep, only better.

Arrows, grapeshot, battering rams, ICBMs, it doesn't matter. You're the Rock of Gibraltar. You've made it this far and you're going to keep on making it. Monday can throw its best at you and you'll just laugh it off.

Thick skin. Strong mind. Indomitable will. Impenetrable fortress. You.

Well Ain't That Just Awesome.

Today you'll be carrying a great big bucket of awesome around with you. You will scoop awesome out of the bucket and give it away like it was candy at Halloween. If you run into people who are undeserving of awesome, you'll give them some anyway. Because that's how you fly. You'll notice that the level of awesome in your bucket will begin diminishing if you don't give any away, but it will remain full to the brim if you do. That's just how awesome works. 

Have an awesome day.

Be The... Wait, What?

You've heard the expression "be the ball," right? It's a hokey old pop sports psychology phrase that some trainers use in an attempt at making athletes focus more intensely on the task at hand. This morning, you are NOT going to be the ball. And do you know why? 

Because the ball gets the crap knocked out of it on the regular! Furthermore, the ball does not act; it is acted upon. So today what you're going to do today is this: Be The Pro. 

Professional athletes train for years, and their minds and bodies are fine tuned to do exactly what it takes to win. Think about who you are and what you've done in life: You're a professional. You have knowledge, training and experience that have turned you into a finely tuned instrument. You're ready to put the ball right where it needs to go.

Most importantly today, you're going to get out there and play. You might win and you might lose, but rest assured that nothing amazing will happen if you keep picturing yourself as an inanimate object that is the target of wooden and metal clubs. So go knock that ball over the center field wall. Sink that hole-in-one. Drain that perfect three-pointer at the buzzer. However you choose to do it, do it all the way.

Have an awesome day!

Don't Fight It...

Remember the movie "Rocky?" Sure you do; everyone does. If you've never watched it, you'll probably want to stop reading now because none of the following will mean anything to you.

Anyway, this daily kick in the pants is NOT going to say that you're Rocky and that Monday is Apollo Creed. Nope. This daily Daily dose of dynamite is claiming that you're Rocky and Monday is… wait for it… Adrian. 

"What?!" you may puzzle. "But Rocky doesn't beat the snot out of Adrian in that movie!" That's right. Because what this particular message is trying to get across is that Monday isn't your opponent. In fact, it's just shy but keeps hanging around because it's kind of interested in you and is hoping that you'll notice it. Once you spend a little quality time with Monday you'll see it's not so bad. And maybe, just maybe, you'll experience a tender moment wherein you gently reach up, take off Monday's glasses and realize "dang, you're actually pretty hot!" Then you and Monday will become a team that will be able to take on anything together.

Even that colossal ape Ivan Drago, otherwise known as "Wednesday."

S Cape Plan

This is the day that you rummage through your closet and come out with a musty, wrinkled piece of cloth. This isn't any ordinary square of muslin; it's your cape. You forgot about it, didn't you? Somewhere between final exams and that first rent check, your cape got stuffed in a box with old toys and half-written adventure stories. It was forgotten far too easily as the world tried to convince you that good enough is good enough, and that Super isn't real. You even started believing the world, because it's easy to do so when so much is wrong out there.

But today is different. Today, your memories come back to you. You realize that the only true barriers in your life exist within your own mind and heart. Today, you get a little flash of that red cape draped over your shoulders, and you remember what it feels like to fly and to smash through walls and to lift cars off people who are trapped beneath them because they forgot about their capes, too. So you walk into your closet of forgotten hopes and dreams and you find that box. 

As you pull the cape from its hiding place, power courses up your arm and into your chest. A slanted shaft of sunlight falls across the fabric and you notice how very red the cape is. You shake it out and spin it around onto your shoulders. Surprisingly, it fits just right. You tie the strings at your neck and walk outside, searching the impossibly blue heavens for your destination. You listen for cries of people in distress.

You're ready. You're back, and today you are once again the hero you were always meant to be.

Fly.

A Puzzling Thought

Do you work crossword puzzles? If so, do you use a pencil or a pen? If you're a pencil user, here's a challenge: next time you work a difficult puzzle, do it in ink. 

It could get messy; you might have to write over letters or scribble in the margin beside the puzzle. As you're doing it, you might even question the sanity of the person who suggested using ink in the first place. But here's the point: ink is forever. You can't erase it. Once it's there, it's there.

Kinda like life. It would be nice to think that we all carried an existential eraser around with us that we could take out to fix a problematic situation or a mistake we've made with just a couple swipes, but that's not how it is, is it? Life is messy. All of the things we do- whether right or wrong- are permanent. Working puzzles in ink might serve as a gentle reminder of that (potentially disquieting) fact.

Another thing to consider is that ink, depending on your penmanship, is bold and clear. It doesn't get obscured like graphite on paper does. If you have a book of puzzles, you can flip back to the first page and see that every letter is as dark as the day you jotted it down. Life is like that, too, isn't it?. Do things boldly and they will be remembered for generations to come. Go through life writing everything in pencil, and your life might eventually be forgotten entirely.

So today, uncap your precision writing instrument and make your mark - in bold strokes!

Level Up

You're about to level up. Do you know what that means? In gaming, leveling up is what happens after you've completed the tasks on the present level of the game - defeated the boss or solved the puzzle. Which is what you have been doing. You've been kicking butt and taking names, and it's time for you to advance to the next stage. Are you ready?

Here's the thing: some people are happy with playing the game, but when it comes to leveling up, they're afraid to do it. The reason is clear: It means more complicated puzzles. It means tougher enemies to fight. Sometimes, it means fewer resources.

But it also means more glory. More success. More coin.

Glory isn't gained with excuses. Success isn't seized with so-so. Wealth isn't won by wembling.

You are ready. You're seasoned, you're smart, and you have cat-like reflexes. So get out there, pin on your Intergalactic Alliance badge , and set your phaser to awesome.

LEVEL UP!

Gray Matters

Did you know that your brain is the most complex computer ever to exist? No matter what shiny doodads the geeks over at Apple or Alienware come up with, and however fast a Cray Titan supercomputer can crunch numbers, nothing can touch the complexity and the flexibility of your mind.

So if, in that big ol' melon of yours, you're toting around the most awesome piece of gee whiz-circuitry ever created, why would you let a bunch of viruses get in and slow down your processing?

Your brain really is very much like a computer. It has a vast amount of long-term memory (hard drive space) And a more limited amount of short term memory (desktop memory or RAM). And, just like a computer, if you have too many programs open and running at the same time, your processing can be needlessly slowed down.

Things such as stress, depression, grudges, low self-esteem, and fear act as viruses. Here's the tricky part: unlike sneaky trojan viruses that you unwittingly click on, your actions and decisions deliberately download the ones listed above and tell them to run.

Much like malicious viruses, unchecked problems in your life can cause your brain to work improperly. You become forgetful. You miss obvious solutions to simple problems. You behave illogically and, at worst, irrationally.

And like computer viruses, these things can begin affecting you so subtly and worsen so gradually that you don't even know something is wrong until you get the dreaded Blue Screen Of Death. In terms of everyday living, that could mean incorrectly completed work, a short temper, anything from the loss of a friendship to the loss of a job. Maybe even irreparable damage to an important relationship.

The good news is that there are very effective antivirus software packages available. Things like regular exercise and healthy eating habits. Like maintaining a strong spiritual life, and surrounding yourself with people who are emotionally healthy and good for you. Oh, and never, ever be afraid to seek the assistance of a professional therapist to help remove some of the nastier viruses out there (think of them as Geek Squad for your brain).

So today, ask yourself if you're taking care of that priceless, one-of-a-kind supercomputer inside your head as well as you do the cheap little one on your desk. If not, you might want to change things up.

Then get out there and be amazing.

Love Wins

Fear is an impressive power in the world. As we are too frequently reminded, there are people who are ruled by fear which drives them to irrational behavior, making them believe that they are somehow justified in taking lives in order to make a political statement. These small-minded, selfish cowards are incapable of the kind of critical thinking it takes to engage in true dialogue with others. They are convinced they are right and will do anything to prove their points. These people have been around since Cain looked at Abel with bitter, hateful envy, and they will be here as long as humanity draws breath. 

But there is also Love. It has existed since before time was conceived, before the earth was formed. It set galaxies on their ever-widening paths; it created beauty in trees and mountains and rivers. Love also planted the seeds of courage within the hearts of humans; the kind of courage that impels us toward catastrophe rather than away from it. Courage that permits us to look upon acts of terrorism and see them for what they are: outward expressions of inward fear. Petulant tantrums thrown by small minded men who are angry about not getting their way.

Love always finds the good in the aftermath of such acts. Love is people rushing to others' aid through smoke and debris. It is brave men and women scouring city streets for more implements of destruction, ignoring their own potential peril. Love is healing beginning to take place even minutes after an attack has occurred. No matter how hard fear tries, Love wins. Love always wins.

Take courage, because today you will Love and be Loved, and no fear will ever overcome you.

The Call Of Nature

I love the outdoors.  I'm not exactly what you'd call a trekker or a hiker or a survivalist, but there's something about walking up a mountain trail or standing beside a swiftly moving creek in the middle of a forest that thrills the senses and touches the soul.  Recently, I had the opportunity to interpret for a client who was attending a training program up in the heart of the Great Smoky Mountains National Park.  As reluctant as I was to leave home for a week, I was nevertheless excited about the prospect of being out in God's country for several days.  To be honest, the week was hot and sweaty.  The group spent more time outside than in, and the heat was brutal.  Even so, I had one of the most memorable and enriching experiences of my life, and I'll be forever grateful to the fantastic team working at the Great Smoky Mountains Institute at Tremont, which is an invaluable resource for nature education.  If you have some vacation time, I highly recommend that you enroll in one of their courses and participate in a little citizen science.  If you're a birder, check here for a chance to take part in a great project!

Throughout the week, the client (and, therefore, the other interpreters and I) learned a great deal about the national park and its resources, as well as the threats it faces.  For example, at the time of its charter in 1934, the park was home to settlers who had moved to the unspoiled area in the late 18th and 19th centuries.  Hundreds of families, who had farmed and cut timber for generations, were bought out (or forced out, since the government exercised eminent domain) so that the land could be preserved as closely to its natural state as possible.  Far before the European settlers found the land, the Appalachians had been the longtime home of the Cherokee Indians, who were forced out during the late 1830's in a deadly march west to reservation lands that later became known as the Trail of Tears.  As you can imagine, the area is rich with the heritage of both cultures: the mountain folk, who fought harsh winters and carved farmland out of the sides of mountains, who stitched faith, hope and the human spirit into their soul-stirring music; and the Principal People, the People of the Caves, the Cherokee, who embraced a deep connection with the land and its creatures, and whose beautiful creation stories still warm the heart with powerful imagery.

Through lectures, hikes and impromptu in-the-field learning moments, we were shown how the forests have been ravaged by acid deposition and the introduction of non-native invasive species, both the result of man's exercising his perceived authority over nature.  Even so, there is still a wonderful variety of plants and animals in the park.  For example, the park is home to 31 species of salamander, 200 different types of birds, dozens of mammal species, more than 80 kinds of fish, and innumerable varieties of insects.  

The most notable of all the critters to be found within the park are the black bears, of course.  Sadly, these beautiful creatures are regularly threatened by the very visitors to the parks who wish to admire them.  We were told (and shown photos) of a bear that had to be euthanized last year after it "attacked" a human.  The attack occurred because a group of people had surrounded the bear and, after feeding it, were taking pictures and talking excitedly.  One of the group decided that petting this wild creature would be a great idea.  The bear, startled, bit the person on the foot.  Even thought the bear was not at fault, it still had to be destroyed because it had lost its fear of humans.  Common wisdom holds that once a bear no longer fears humans, it will eventually consider them a viable food source if necessity demands it.  The thought that an innocent animal had to be put down due to careless and arrogant behavior on the part of park visitors sickened me.  If one chooses to enter nature, one should be wise enough to understand and follow its rules.

Despite the damage done to the forests by logging and farming, the losses suffered to native species due to pollution and human encroachment, and the changing of the beautiful blue mist that once shrouded the mountains to what occasionally appears to be a sallow smog, the Great Smoky Mountains are nevertheless still a majestic testament to the power of the hand of the Creator.  When standing still in the midst of the hushed forest, one can almost feel the pulse of the earth thrumming to the rhythm of God's heartbeat.  The connection to things invisible and ineffable becomes palpable, and the sensation of being tiny but integral is overwhelming.

If you've never taken the short drive up to the Great Smoky Mountains, you don't know what you're missing. If you can tear yourself away from the contrived, commercial cuteness of Gatlinburg and the gaudy, over-the-top Pigeon Forge, move further up into the hills and visit the park.  Drive the Cade's Cove loop, step out of your car and step back into history at the Primitive Baptist Church or one of the many homestead sites.  Put on your hiking boots and make the treks up to Laurel Falls and Clingman's Dome.  If you do, bring your camera.  And your sense of awe.

TheTricky Art of Doing The To-Do List

If you were to enter our house, step over the unpacked boxes of junk we don't really need but keep anyway, maneuver to our kitchen and look at the front of our refrigerator, you would see three things.  A magnet in the shape and image of a Little Brown Dog, a printout of a generic shopping list template found somewhere online, and a very neatly handwritten list entitled "Things to work on @ house."  It is this third item about which I will aimlessly pontificate in this particular entry.  Here is the list as it is written:

Things to work on @ house:

-Light outside our bedroom

-Pull out drawers in kitchen

-Door for girls' bathroom

-Organize attic

-Cover windows in our bedroom

-Walkway in front of house

-Paint front porch

-Doorknobs -- Re-key

-Ceiling fan in bedroom

-Mower wheel

-Fix girls' bedroom door

-Fridge leaking

-Fill in holes in yard

Many people keep lists like this.  I would bet that you, Dear Reader, most likely have a list such as this on your own refrigerator or counter, or maybe just in your head.  For most people, lists are helpful reminders that enable them do what needs to be done.  For me, the Potentate of Procrastination, such lists are very nearly the bane of my existence.  They hang there and mock me with all the things I have yet to accomplish.  To me, the very average list above might as well read:

-Build full-scale replica of Great Wall of China out of toothpicks

-Cure common cold

-Win Olympic gold medal in decathlon

-Find constructive use for dark matter

-Time travel and stop invention of Disco

-Eat just one Lay's potato chip

You get the idea.  What happens when I read it is that all of the individual items turn into a kind of lumbering monster; the ogre that gleefully dares me to come trip-trapping over its bridge.  Each time I cast a wary glance at the aforementioned agenda, I have a keen sense of what Sir Edmund Hillary must have felt when he first gazed upon the vast icy wall that was Mount Everest.  I also have what I believe to be an accurate idea of what must have been going through his mind at that very moment: "What was I thinking when I said I'd do this?!"  I'm with you, Eddie.  How about we forget about that silly old hill and go grab a Jamocha shake?

Yeah, that's pretty much what I'm thinking when I look at it.  BUT... if you truly read my list, you noticed that I very adeptly made use of the "strikethrough" feature on a few items when formatting this post, meaning yes, I really and truly have completed some of the tasks.  You math majors out there may have already established that I have accomplished just under 25% of what is written there.  Hopefully, by the end of the day I will have completed at least two more.  There's no guarantee, but it's my goal.  Herein lies something that it has taken nearly all of my adult life to learn: you accomplish things by actually doing them.  Okay, that's oversimplified, but it's a nutshell truth.  Remember the old proverb "A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step?"  That's what I'm talking about.  For many people, this notion is a given, like "breathe in, breathe out."  To me, not so much.  It has taken years to realize that one simply cannot complete an entire job all at once.  Breaking it down into manageable tasks is the key.  So here I am, taking one step at a time.  Now that I'm getting that, I hope to keep it.

In case you're not an inferential reader, I'm not just talking about my to-do list.  I've been learning to apply this lesson to life.  Maybe you can give it a go, too.  Stop trying to do too much at once, because then you can't see all the details and may miss lots of great stuff.  Try just taking it in bit by bit and relishing as much of it as you can.  Kind of like enjoying an expertly prepared meal spent with someone whose company you enjoy completely.  Who doesn't like that?

A Job, A Home, and A Little Brown Dog

I just typed in my blog's URL, logged in, and took a look.  To my horror, I realized that my last blog entry was dated June 4, 2010.  Yes, Dear Reader, two months and a week have passed since I last graced this site with my mildly mind-stirring mutterings.  I should be (and, therefore, am) ashamed.  So what follows is a quick look at the what and why of my absence.

Last Tuesday, August 3rd, I started my new job at the Georgia School for the Deaf.  I am now one of two brand-spanking new staff interpreters.  I should clarify by stating that while I am neither spanking nor new to the interpreting field, I am a completely unknown quantity to most of the faculty and staff of that august institution.  Suffice it to say that the learning curve will be steep for all involved.  Even so, I am having a great experience and look forward to building fantastic relationships and a successful career there.

As part of the whole new job thing, Jen and I have moved from our dear old dusty crackerbox in Oxford, Alabama to a nice new place in Jacksonville.  I'm still left with a commute, but it's all country roads and is a pleasure to drive compared to the hour-plus interstate grind I've been making for the past several years.  The new place is a palace compared to our old digs.  It's not perfect, but it already feels much more like home than either of our previous residences.  As I told Jen, I intend for that to be our second-to-last move; the last one being when we finally buy a place in which we'll live out the remainder of our happy days.  Jen says that she'd be totally fine with buying this new house, but we'll just have to wait and see if that becomes a possibility.

Finally, we've had a bit of a speed bump in the pet department.  It seems that while we were moving out of the old house, Ginger, our miniature Dachshund, found her way over to the vacant lot beside the house.  The lot is densely overgrown and is a home to lots of fallen trees, critters and debris from years of neglect.  Poor Ginger apparently somehow hurt herself while down in that nearly impassable jungle.  When she came out, she acted as though she had done something to hurt her ribs.  A few days later, the kids noticed that she was dragging her right leg behind her.  By that evening, she had lost the use of both hind legs.  Jen took her to the animal hospital and they kept her for two nights.  She's coming home today (Tuesday), and we'll be looking at the reality of dealing with a pet who is physically disabled.  On a lighter note, Jen told me in a matter-of-fact way that, if it came down to it, Ginger would have one of those doggie wheelchairs.  I kind of chuckled, and she gave me The Look.  "I'm serious," she interjected.  I instantly affected a properly rebuked mein and replied "Sure.  I just don't know how much those things cost," to which she immediately shot back "A hundred and fifty dollars.  I've already been checking around."  The moral here: don't take a woman's love for her Little Brown Dog lightly.  She. Will. Cut. You.

So that, Dear Reader, is that for this update.  I hope to begin making new entries on a regular basis once again soon.  I simply need to make sure that my schedule is relatively stable and that I keep my Honey Do list short.  Thanks for reading and as always, I appreciate your comments.

26 Helpful Tips for Getting Through Life in One Piece

I know that lists are easy to write and are frequently just lip service, but these are things that I actually try to practice in life.  Of course, there are many other practical tips for surviving life such as "don't eat something out of the refrigerator if you don't remember putting it there," but I thought that a list like this might actually serve a purpose.  It seems like fewer and fewer people today are living by any kind of credo at all.  Remember when we, as a nation, had a moral compass?  Do we still have it, or are we too busy living life like we post Tweets: in short, random bursts?  Anyway, philosophizing aside, here are some concepts that I have found helpful.  I have failed more than I have succeeded in following them, I think, but I still try because they're worth it.  I hope they mean something to you, too.

1. When people around you are whispering, don’t assume they’re whispering about you.  Not everything is about you.  In fact, very little is about you.  Once you realize this, you can get on with being concerned about things that actually matter.
2. Never enter a business arrangement with a close friend or family member.  Money can be the cause of the bitterest disputes, and a few bucks aren’t worth losing a relationship over.  Don’t believe it?  Watch one episode of The People’s Court or Judge Judy.
3.  As an adult, before you ever decide to get married and have kids, you should have at least one pet and a house full of plants.  If you can keep the plants and the pet alive for at least three years, then maybe you’re ready to consider becoming responsible for the life of another human.
4. Good friends are like precious stones.  The really good, valuable ones are hard to find.  Once found, you should try to never lose them.  True friends understand that you’re not perfect.  If you have friends who criticize and make you feel small, they’re not really your friends.
5. By the way, your friends aren’t perfect, either.  They’re going to screw up once in a while and disappoint you.  Be the friend you’d want if you were in their shoes and love them through it.
6. If a friend asks you for money more than once a decade, you might want to reevaluate whether that person is really a friend.
7. Learn how to fix things.  You don’t have to be a master mechanic or licensed contractor to save hundreds, maybe even thousands of dollars a year on routine maintenance on your car and home.  Learn how to change your oil, perform an engine tune-up, fix a toilet, refurbish or replace a faucet, hang a ceiling fan, unclog drains, and put sliding doors back on track.  Teach your kids the same things.
8. Stand up for yourself.  Don’t be a jerk about it, but say “no” when you need to.  Being nice is one thing, but being a doormat is something completely different.  If your needs suffer because others are imposing on you to fulfill their life obligations, it’s time to make a change.
9. On a related note, be responsible for your own life.  Pay your own bills.  If you’re over 18, you should be able to handle many of your own responsibilities.  If you’re out of college and are still living with your parents, you’re being irresponsible.  Get a second job, if you already have a first.  You do NOT have a right to do whatever you want; you have a right to the pursuit of happiness.  Sometimes that means that you give up some of the things you want now, to have happiness later.  It’s called being a grownup.  Deal with it and move on.
10. If you have spent more money on entertainment than on investing in your future, don’t whine when you’re not able to retire until you’re 75.  A membership-driven online game, no matter how fun or compelling, is not worth thousands of dollars.  Investing thousands of dollars now will pay you TENS of thousands of dollars in the future.  Think about that.
11. No matter how badly people treat you, always take the high road and treat them well.  Our actions are always repaid in kind.  Always.  The Golden Rule isn’t just a cutesy saying; it’s a valuable guideline for everyday life.
12. If you’re going to buy something, take the time to make sure you’re getting your money’s worth.  Saving a few hundred dollars on a major purchase now isn’t worth it if you have to shell out another few thousand to replace that item two months after the warranty runs out.
13. Listen to your elders.  They’ve been where you are.  You may think that they haven’t, and what you’re experiencing is different than they did, but that’s hogwash.  Most likely, they made it through what you’re facing with even fewer resources than you have available.  Less talking, more listening.  It’s a good rule of thumb for much of life.
14. Try not to gossip, even to your best friend.  Life takes interesting turns, and alliances, sadly, sometimes change.  Try not to say anything that you wouldn’t mind the whole world hearing.  Likewise, don’t listen to gossip.  Even if it’s true, which is highly doubtful, it’s not your business.  You have enough problems of your own to deal with; you don’t need to invite those of others in, too.
15. Assume the best of everyone you meet until they prove you wrong.  Some will tell you that this is naïve and foolish, and you’ll most likely get burned once in a while, but you will find that most people react much more favorably when they feel they are respected and trusted.  We all tend to want to live up to others’ expectations.
16. Learn how to survive without modern conveniences.  Technology is wonderfully helpful, but it’s worthless when there’s no power.  Don’t believe it?  Ask someone from New Orleans about what they thought was important after Katrina hit.  You most likely won’t hear people whining about how they didn’t have access to wi-fi.  Get a high-quality water purifier.  Buy a propane camp stove.  You don’t have to be a survivalist; just aware and ready.  Nature has a way of knocking us down a peg or two when we get too smug, and it helps to be prepared.
17. If you’re a newlywed, don’t think that you should start out your new life with everything that your parents have now.  They didn’t start out with that much; they worked for years to get where they are.  Beginning a new relationship is hard enough as it is.  Throwing a mortgage and two car payments on top of that, along with loans to fill up your house with nice things just compounds stress and anxiety.  You have all the time in the world, and stuff is just… stuff.  Enjoy each other.  The stuff will come in time.
18. Exercise.  Nothing else works.  Just get up and do something.
19. Learn how to take compliments.  Repeat after me: “Thank you, that’s very kind of you to say.”  See?  That wasn’t hard, was it?  Saying things like “No, it’s not that big a deal” and “Please, it was awful” makes you seem ungracious and unappreciative of other’s opinions of you.  Saying thanks and leaving it at that lets others know that you’re grateful for their praise, but not arrogant.
20. When someone you know is hurting, words aren’t always necessary.  Sometimes, just being there to sit alongside them as if to say “I hurt along with you” does far more than all the words in the dictionary could ever do.
21. Try to learn something new every day.  This keeps the mind sharp and can even help prevent Alzheimer’s disease and other forms of dementia.  It also helps you to be a more interesting conversationalist.
22. If you think you’re an interesting conversationalist, you’re probably not.  You should most likely work on your ability to listen.  The old adage “we have two ears and one mouth for a reason” is pretty right-on.
23. Give.  It doesn’t really matter what the cause, but find a way to give back.  Chances are that you’ve been the recipient of someone’s kindness, and now you have the responsibility to be kind to others.  Even if you’re broke, you can still give of your time and your talents.  Somewhere, a charity needs an accountant or a baker or someone who knows how to organize a thrift store.  Somewhere, a family could use a dependable car or a roof repair.  If you have a family, make them part of it.  Show your kids what it really means to be a part of the community.
24. Laugh.  Nothing makes you feel alive like laughing until your sides hurt. Go to a comedy club, listen to one of the comedy stations on satellite radio, or watch the comedy network on TV.  Discover a great humor writer.  If you don’t have at least one friend who makes you laugh on a regular basis, find one.  It will make you healthier and keep you young longer.  We all need whimsy from time to time.
25. Don’t be afraid of new opportunities.  Sometimes change can be good for you.  Taking calculated risks can result in big payoffs.  It can also result in failure, but so what?  We all fall on our faces once in a while.  If there’s something you’d like to try, go for it.  When you’re old, your regrets will be for those great things that you didn’t do, not the lousy things you did.
26. Don’t lie.  No matter what the situation, when the chips are down, your reputation and self-respect are precious.  Lying demeans you and those around you, and causes stress that will eat you alive.  Why try to keep track of complicated lies (and they all become complicated, eventually) when the truth is so much simpler and healthier?

Well, there they are.  It's by no means a comprehensive list, but felt pretty solid to me.  What other rules of thumb do you follow that you feel are missing?  Feel free to comment, and share this if it affected you.  Thanks!